AIG and the Sleepy American, a story of love and breakups

Imagine one day you get an unexpected phone call from your beloved insurance company. “Things are a little tough these days, but our relationships with you are of utmost importance, and we are calling to see how things are going,” they explain. You explain that things were just fine with you, but you don’t recall ever having a good relationship with you friendly caller. As a matter of fact you would classify your relationship over the last several years as problematic. Actually, you would describe it as a relationship where you feel victimized, taken advantage of, and frankly ripped-off.

You recount to your friendly caller the time they wouldn’t insure you because of that pre-existing condition. And the time they increased their quote by 25% because your credit score was below 750. And there was the time they cut your claim by 30% because you forgot to consult with then before it was submitted. Oh, and then there was the time you had to spend two hours a day talking to the claims agent for weeks to get them to pay your claim. And never mind the fact that your premiums have almost tripled in the last 3 years. And there was the time they asked you to leave the relationship because you actually filed a claim. You are finally interrupted by your caller.

“Water under the bridge,” your friendly caller explains. “I really need you to lend me some money. It’s probably more like give me some money, because I’m almost sure I’ll never pay you back. I’m looking for anywhere between $2000 and $2500.” After a few seconds of disbelief, you kindly tell them to kiss your you know what and hang up the phone. Next morning you check your retirement savings account and realize that $2,500 has actually been withdrawn. They did leave you a nice note however. The note says, “Dear friend, sorry to inconvenience you, but based on these extraordinary times of ultra greedy insurance companies, incompetent banks, and sleazy credit card companies, we have decided to commit your hard earned cash to help them out. We know you don’t mind and promise, double promise, hope to die promise to pay you back. We are fully aware of your great sense of confusion and general state of helplessness and have made the wiser choice on your behalf. Lots of love.” Signed, Super smart man Paulson, Genius Bush, and Big Brain Bernake. You shake your head in agreement and go on with your day feeling good about those really smart people making those tough calls, every single day.